


Art of Dying

by jellytae_kook



Category: bts
Genre: M/M, Other tags?, Past hurt, Poor Seokjin, Sad, dad seokjin, how do you tag?, lonely, single dad, store
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:01:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29857086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellytae_kook/pseuds/jellytae_kook
Summary: There'll come a time when all your hopes are fadingWhen things that seemed so very plainBecome an awful painSearching for the truth among the lyingAnd answered when you've learned the art of dying-art of dying, george harrison
Relationships: Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	1. Twists

**Author's Note:**

> hi! i'm happy you stumbled on my work. i hope you enjoy this shitty excuse of a story :)

And so it begins.

The earth is damp outside. The smell is great. Above the sky shines a great sun. The morning was quite beautiful today. There aren’t any birds singing though, too cliché. The sound of tiny feet running around the tiled floor makes more sense. Morning, as beautiful as it is could be ugly and noisy in another minute or so. He pushed the blanket down and looked in the mirror. He looks well-rested. Well, as well rested as a 25 year old father of a 5 year old can be. 

He looks so tired if he’s being honest. But being tired because you fulfilled your responsibilities can be rewarding. Tiredness is a small price to pay for every decisions he made so far. He chose this. He knows there was no turning back. And before his thoughts spiral to the ugly memories of his past, a scream echoed around their home, small, but still a home.

“Better be ready. Today’s a new day!”. He muttered to himself as he walks towards the door. The first thing he noticed is the white liquid on the floor, which you don’t need to be too smart to figure out what it is. Next, he saw a tiny man sitting on the chair, acting as if nothing’s wrong and everything is perfectly fine. “Good morning daddy!”, came a small voice. He looked at his boy, sighed and proceeded to go to the kitchen to retrieve the mop. When he was back, he saw his boy very close to crying. “Are you angry, daddy?” again with the small voice. “I’m not, sweetie, but you know what I told you about being careful around food, right?”. He crouches down, eye level with his boy. “We need to be very careful sweetie, we don’t get free food and you know that, right?”. He tried to explain. He reminded his son about how tight their budget is for the week. As cruel as it can be to tell your son that you’re struggling, he doesn’t want to spoil his son into thinking he can waste food like they aren’t in need of budgeting. “I’m sorry daddy, it slipped.” “I swear I didn’t do it on purpose.” His son tried to reason. “I know, sweetie. Accidents can happen.” “Finish your food, we’ll be late if you take more than 20 minutes on eating.” “Yes, daddy.” came his boy’s reply. He knows his son is smart. He knows where the cereal is and prepares it on his own. Maybe the boy can see his father’s struggle to rest because of working. He is grateful about his son trying to be independent. Even if his mind tells him that he is miserable, his heart refuses to acknowledge it. He has a son and he’ll do anything to get them by.

Things were not as messy as they were. He had a good life, great friends and money was never tight. Being the youngest son in a family of four and being born in a corporate family was really a very lucky fate. He went wherever he wants. He was very impulsive. A healthy 19 year-old guy who knows nothing but being rebellious just because he can. What did he got out of it? Nothing, and he realized that too late. Engaging with the wrong circle of people leads to wrong decisions and even more terrible result. A 19 year-old, in high school, got a girl pregnant. As far as he can remember, his parents got the news, was not accepted and was forced to fend for his own. He was a mess. He didn’t know what to do. He tried to stand up on his own. Forgot his old ways and try to be responsible enough but it was never easy. Life will give you series of fuck ups and remind you in a most brutal way that one tiny slip and you make your life miserable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character… Would you slow down? Or speed up?”
> 
> – Chuck Palahniuk


	2. Strange Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The man in black and I don't give a damn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, i'm sorry. go on.

He applied for a job, but what can a 19 year old, high school drop out do? He got hired as a store clerk where he didn’t know what to do. He tried to suck everything up. There’s no use to beating himself up. At least, he can come home, if a shitty room is even called a home, to someone waiting. There was still hope. He can do this. He doesn’t have a choice, does he?

Coming home one day to a very silent environment can be both relaxing and terrifying. No crying today, which means the baby is asleep and he can finally put his body to a well deserved rest. He had a shitty shift today. He was dealing with deliveries that he knows was out of his job description. He needs to do it anyway. No crying today is very unusual. He went further into the room. He saw his son lying down the blanket, asleep. He breathed a sigh of relief. He gave his son a quick peck so as not to wake it and proceeded to the table. He saw a note. The small yellow not that changed his life forever. A very cruel note. A 20 year old guy, with an 11 month-old baby in a very small room shocked himself to the bone. The note says, “I’m sorry I can’t do this. I don’t want this life. You can have the baby or put him up for adoption. Don’t look for me if you want to at least pay for destroying my life.”

The walk to his son’s kindergarten was short. They passed by a couple of other parent-child duo along the way. He was never one for pleasantries so he kept on listening to his son’s ramblings. He barely heard him say about the activities their teacher will be doing today. Once they reached the place, he crouched down to say a few reminders to his son. “Be good today.” He said while kissing his son’s nose. “No calls from your teacher about being naughty and I’ll see you at 5.” He smiled while looking at his attentive son. “Yes, daddy and I hope you have a great day.” “I’ll see you later and give you all the stars today.” His son said very enthusiastically. He let go of his son and watched him enter the classroom where the teacher was standing. “I sure hope today is great.” And off he go.

“Kim!” came a loud voice from the backroom. “Did you get the inventory for the energy drinks delivered yesterday?” The inventory clerk is a big man with equally big stomach. Maybe he comes home to his daily dose of beer, he often thinks to himself. “I had it placed on your table. The soft copy’s in the folder on your computer with the same label as usual.” He tried to raise his voice subtly so as not to disturb other people shopping. After as few moments of silence he concludes that maybe the pathetic excuse of a man found it. He is not spiteful, he just doesn’t like people acting as if they were the owner even if they have slightly same salary. 

The counter’s a bit slow. There was no need for restocking and only 1 hour until he gets off. The shop’s bell rang indicating a new costumer. He didn’t look up from his position until the man placed his items on the table. “That would be $20 sir, cash or card?” The man threw a 100 dollar bill. He gave the man his change and packed the items. “Thank you for shopping and come again.” The man grunts a response and turned his back from the cashier. Seokjin glanced up the man. The man was very tall, probably taller than him. He was wearing black t-shirt and some black jeans. There was something odd about the man but then he knows every person has their own shits to deal. He didn’t pay much attention after the man walked out the door. The rest of his time was spent waiting for that damn 5 o’clock.


	3. The Pain of being Alone

Seokjin did try his best to open his eyes. He did for the first few moments he woke that morning. His head feels like a spinning machine with lots and lots of nails being hammered into it. He can’t afford to be sick. Hell, he shouldn’t be sick. His rent is due. The kindergarten tuition is due tomorrow. A day off work means a week short of their monthly groceries. He can’t afford that. He needs to swallow every pill he can to alleviate his feelings if it means paying his bills right on time. His son is maybe up this very moment and is being a good boy eating his cereals in the kitchen. He has to get up.

Rolling to the side, he grabbed a pair of working clothes and started dressing. He doesn’t want to do anything else so he forgoes a shower. He reached the table and true to his beliefs, his son is almost done eating his cereals while coloring his book. What a best boy indeed! He took a glass of water after answering his son’s greetings and downed two pills for fatigue and maybe fever and whatever else he is feeling right now. “Daddy, are you sick?” his son asked titling his head to the side. “Daddy is fine, sweetie. Just a weather bug.” He assured his son. The morning routine followed quickly and although he was feeling out of it, he successfully dropped off his son in his kindergarten.

When he arrived at the store, the night shift store clerk handed him the counter. He quickly prepared all the necessary thing before a customer come. A quick trip to the backroom after a delivery was being processed turned to hours. He can’t believe his damn luck today. His body is giving him a hard time and he has to do the heavy lifting while running to the counter to check out some customer’s items. There were a few edgy clients today but he dealt with it to the best of his abilities. His composure was failing but he needs to do what needs to be done. A few more back and forth trip and he can reward himself with a short break. He knows he can do this. Almost five years of working makes him think he is an expert in multitasking.

Standing behind the counter for 3 hours now after hauling the box of deliveries is taking a toll on his body. He downed his third bottle of water. He glanced at the clock on the corner of the store, two hours more. He sighed and leaned at the side. A customer came and set the items on the table. He quickly processed everything and bid the customer the same greetings. His stomach is killing him now. He can’t bear standing anymore. He glanced up quickly around to check if there’s someone he can call for help. A few customer on a far isle, an old man on the newspaper stand and the man from a few days ago walking towards the counter. The man was looking at him and he wasn’t sure if the man recognizes the pain in his face. His vision started to blacken and the man’s face was the last thing he saw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Every man must do two things alone; he must do his own believing and his own dying.”
> 
> – Martin Luther


End file.
